im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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