Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
