it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
