Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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