I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
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