That's intense
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
