It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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