why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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