me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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