we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
