we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize