I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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