The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
wanna go halves on a baby?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Randomize
