I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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