I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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