I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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