That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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