just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
