its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
