All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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