lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
