remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
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Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
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I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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