Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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