...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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