Say something about gay babies.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
