I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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