He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize