so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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