I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
