where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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