We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
