I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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