You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
