I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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