Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
