She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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