My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
