We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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