just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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