so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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