just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
false alarm. still invincible.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
