dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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