New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
