You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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