okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
