I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Two words: blizzard sex
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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