Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
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I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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