Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Randomize
