Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
