Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Boobs are out for the taking
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
