You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
