Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
