I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops