ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
