Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
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I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
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I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess