dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
