she told me i tasted like america
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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