Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
