Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
40s are totally the cure
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
