After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
