i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
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It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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