ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
