He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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