Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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