I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I did not marry a roomba.
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