Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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