please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
