yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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