My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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