I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
