i permit you to call me
P.S. I can't hear my feet
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
