Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
