Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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