Please, let me fuck your mom
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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